


If on a Winter's Night, a Traveler

by ishre_yann



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I have no idea, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 18:04:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11926293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishre_yann/pseuds/ishre_yann
Summary: Shiro is back, but not quite as the others would think. Especially Lance. It's just a moment, before they both realise it and deal with it.





	If on a Winter's Night, a Traveler

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hragal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hragal/gifts).



> This is my first Shance fic and it's for @tuxedo_trash (who did a v angsty Shance fic too, go check them out!)
> 
> I assumed Shiro didn't have any scars before the last season and that he and Lance already were in a wanna-be relationship. I also assumed a buchf of ThingsTM I can't remember exactly, but if you find any discrepancies between this and the canon, it's okay. Ignore them :3
> 
> English isn't my first language, so you may find some horrors in that. The story hasn't been beta-read (apart from me, ofc, so don't trust me). If you find any mistakes, misspelling, wrong collocations, etc, please tell me. It would be super helpful!
> 
> That being said, hope you'll enjoy the fic!

Shiro has been back for a few hours by now. The paladins, together with Allura and Coran, had just left him in his room (and his shower, in particular), so Shiro could take his time to get a hold of himself and get things under control once more. His mind was a blank page, as if he was out of it. He was so sure he would’ve died in that stolen Galra vessel that he was preparing to abandon hope so it would hurt less - focussed on old memories, that almost didn’t feel his anymore.

Then, his memories became a blur. White lights and a distant voice, his breath hard and heavy, unable to focus on anything but the lights in the small hub. Shiro was almost certain there hadn’t been a particular moment in which he could breathe again. He just gained consciousness out of the blue, already breathing and, more importantly, Lance and Keith in front of him, clicking their fingers to snap him out of it. Pidge was telling them to let Shiro breathe, a distant noise in Shiro’s mind, until Hunk grabbed the two pilots and freed Shiro’s visual. Allura and Coran were way behind, shoulder to shoulder, looking at him with big smiles and wet eyes.

He remembered hugging everybody - or better, being hugged by everybody. His body was still recovering from the lack of oxygen. He also spent a few hours in the infirmary, to be sure his brain wasn’t damaged and his limbs were perfectly working. On his bed, the shower brought back all the tiredness he’s ignored until now. He was  _ so _ tired he couldn’t do anything but stare in front of himself, a blanket laying on his naked body. Shiro was sure he’d been there before, this was his own room, these were his own belongings. No one touched anything, he found everything where he left it. Yet, it still felt foreign and he couldn’t fathom why.

A soft knock on his door woke him from his doze. Shiro blinked, straightened his pose and turned his attention to the door. Did he imagine it? His mind had been playing tricks on him since he got out of the Galra ship. Another knock, together with a whisper this time.

“Shiro? You awake?”

It was Lance.

Shiro got up almost immediately, dragging behind himself the blankets. He was about open the door when he realised he was naked and changed his course. It was easy to slip into his old clothes, after all the training he’d done with the paladins and during his time as a prisoner. Although, he only put on his pants, since Lance was already knocking a third time - his voice filled with impatience.

“I can hear you! Open up, man, c’mon!” He was whispering, but his tone was loud.

Shiro couldn’t hold a smile when hearing him. He snorted and then mumbled a “I’m coming, I’m coming,” as he walked in front of the panel. A touch and the door swung open, revealing Lance in his casual clothes. The young man was as bright as ever, dark skin and chocolate-brown hair, his blue eyes standing out from all the darker colours. It made it ridiculously difficult to focus on anything else.

Shiro frowned inside at that thought. Why would he think something like that?

“There you are, man! I’ve been wanting to talk to you for  _ ages!” _ Lance said, energetic as ever. He pushed inside without invitation and let the door close behind him.

Shiro stepped aside, then turned to follow Lance and look at him. Lance radiated life, as if his own body couldn’t use it all for itself and had some spare to share with others. Shiro found himself, more often that he would’ve wanted to, breathing deeply when in Lance’s company. It was hard for someone like Shiro, letting go and relax for a bit. Even now, his duty weighted on his shoulders. The black lion was waiting for him and Shiro didn’t want to wait. But Shiro was also patient, and knew that he wouldn’t have been able to do anything if he didn’t at least rest a bit.

Lance was still looking around when Shiro found his place on a chair. Every room had two in front of the wall-table. The ship was built to be home to thousand of soldiers, so the rooms were small, but filled with anything one would need in order to live for long periods in space. Shiro did never decorate his own room, but even that told a lot on who he was and how he related to others.

“Seriously, this place is so depressing,” Lance was saying, and Shiro could hear the disappointment in his voice. “As soon as we’re back at the space-mall thing, you’re gonna have to buy yourself something nice.” Then, he turned and stared at Shiro.

Lance’s smile was usually unshakable, but something flashed in his eyes as soon as they found Shiro’s torso. Shiro never had the chance to see one’s reaction to his body. During the time he was held captive, it was standard procedure to have scars. People without scars were looked down upon, either they were cowards or they had the luck to never battle in the arena. Others usually looked at Shiro because he was good at fighting, and they knew.

“Where do those come from?” Lance asked, confusion in his voice. “Did they-?”

“The arena. I was good, but not that good,” Shiro explained. Haven’t they already discussed this? He was sure they did.

Lance stepped back as soon as Shiro took a step forward. They stilled, realisation sinking down. Now, Shiro was looking ad Lance with confusion and Lance was looking at Shiro with suspicion.

“Lance? What’s going on?” Shiro asked. He didn’t get scared easily, but Lance being this serious was never a good thing. “What’s wrong?” He insisted.

“You didn’t have those the first time. I didn’t-” Lance stopped. Frowning and looking as a caged animal.

“What do you mean? I always had them.”

But Lance didn’t listen. Not completely, at least. “Who are you?”

Shiro’s eyes widened in shock. He wasn’t sure what to think, because he didn’t feel as certain as he was just a minute ago. Then he smiled and huffed. “What are you talking about? It’s me, it’s always me,” he said.

Lance wouldn’t come closer, so Shiro went back to sitting. Lance was looking at him. Shiro could see how this pained Lance too, but still, he was relieved to see also how the young man grew up enough to know who to trust. Then, that was the second stabbing pain he felt in his heart.

“I knew there was something weird with you. You look like him but. . .” Lance was already reaching for the panel. Probably to call someone, tell the others.

“Wait!” Shiro called, standing up and rushing towards Lance. It wasn’t difficult, stopping Lance and grabbing him by his wrist. Lance screamed, then shaked and pulled until Shiro pinned him. Shiro almost choked when he saw fear in Lance’s eyes. “Please, I don’t wanna hurt you. It’s still me, I’m not- I’m not. . .”  _ I’m not, what? What are you not? _ “I just need a moment. Then you can tell whoever you want. This- why would I not be Shiro?”

“You tell me,” Lance spat, pulling again. One of his hands got free and Shiro couldn’t get it under control again, his head was spinning and his body felt heavy. Lance took advantage of Shiro’s slowness and dragged him down.

This time, it was Shiro pinned down by Lance. He still had ten pounds on Lance, but he didn’t really want to use his weight against the young man. So he stayed down, didn’t even oppose resistance. Lance was so focused on blocking him that he realised Shiro wasn’t fighting him only when Lance dragged his arm up on Shiro’s head and Shiro didn’t even tense up.

Lance’s face screwed up in confusion and frustration. “Do you think you can trick me?! Where’s Shiro! What have you done to him?” He burst out.

“No, I. . .” Shiro’s mind was racing. He wasn’t sure of anything. What if the Galra really did let him escape just so they could have the upperhand on the paladins? What if  _ he _ was the paladin’s weakness? A weakness the Galra put there so they would always have a backup plan, in case they risked losing the war. The solution came to Shiro’s mind almost as natural as water flowing. It was clear and yet so wrong in his mind. “You should put me in chains.”

“What?” Lance’d been clearly taken aback.

“You should. . .You should make sure. I don’t know. What if you’re right? What if-”

Shiro’s breath was harsh. The only idea of hurting the paladins with his own hands, the only people he could call home and family in the entire universe, after his father and brother were killed by the Galra. . .Shiro couldn’t do it. Even if he wasn’t Shiro anymore, the memories he had came from somewhere. They had to.

The pressure on his wrists came loose, until Lance let go. Shiro could see how torn he was trusting Shiro with this. So Shiro didn’t move, didn’t dare. They stayed like that, looking in each other’s eyes.

“You don’t remember me?” Lance asked out of the blue.

Shiro frowned. It was too much of a weird question to mean exactly what it meant. “What do you mean?”

Lance huffed a smile, something bitter on his face. “Well I guess this answers the question, doesn’t it?” He said.

“Wait,” Shiro hurried. It was hard, focusing on anything but the new possibility, the feeling he had every time he tried to recall something. Alien, distant. “Did we. . .?”

“What?” Lance’s voice pitched. Which could only mean Shiro hit the mark, especially by how red Lance’s face became. “No! We didn’t! You just- you just always hanged out with us with your ridiculously muscular chest and hugged me- I mean, everybody. Especially me. Okay, maybe only me. But that’s not the point!”

Shiro let go of a sigh, before smiling a bit. It lasted a few seconds, but it helped Shiro ease the tension he felt in his body. He could accept this. He could do this too for the people he loved.

“Shiro?” Lance called. Shiro was only now realising how Lance was still sitting on his abdomen, hands still on his wrists. “I mean, what do I call you now?”

“I don’t know,” Shiro’s voice was dry. He tried to smile again, to reassure Lance, but it came out as bitter and poor as Shiro imagined. “Maybe. . .I don’t remember anything else but being Shiro.”

Lance was looking at him. “I have to tell the others. They need to know,” he said. Lance’s voice wasn’t pleased.

_ You really grew up,  _ Shiro thought, his chest filled with pride. It was genuine, it was  _ his _ and no one else’s. Whose else should it have been that feeling?

“What?” Lance asked. “I know that look.”

Shiro wasn’t sure whether he wanted to be read like an open book by Lance, because he remembered Lance reading him, or feeling frustrated because that wasn’t really for him, if Lance was right. Shiro sighed. “You’ve grown up since. . .Well, from what I remember.”

Lance’s face became even more red. “Shut up, I’ve always been cool!”

“Yes you have,” Shiro said - a soft smile on his lips.

“Shut up!” Lance shoot back. They stared themselves in the eye for a few seconds, then Lance got up abruptly and offered Shiro a hand. “Alright, get up. It’s not like you’ll do any damage right now. Besides, we can take you now! We’ve been practicing!” Lance said.

Shiro was glad to hear it, accepted Lance’s hand. Although, when he got up his head went back to spinning so much he almost fell back down again. It took Lance to hold him with all his strength to avoid the fall. Shiro’s breath was still uneven, now that his body had to work to keep him steady.

“Sorry I, uh, don’t feel very good.” Shiro said, limping slowly to his bed and dropping down.

Lance followed and helped Shiro laying down, before sitting down besides him - a hand on Shiro’s chest. “You’re still not well,” Lance mumbled.

Shiro breathed an apology, then closed his eyes. “I guess I’m not,” he said and then tried at least going back up so he could seat beside Lance.

Lance, though, wasn’t on Shiro’s same page and instead pressed his hand so Shiro couldn’t push up. When Shiro gave up, Lance went back to a soft touch. “Sleep,” he ordered.

“But what if I’m not-”

“We’ll think about it when you feel better and when everyone’s awake. I’ll stay here and watch over you,” Lance said as he lowered himself to Shiro’s side. Now, they were both laying down.

Shiro stilled. He didn’t want to take advantage of Lance, especially not now. “Lance,” he called.

“What?”

Shiro took a deep breath. “I’m not-”

“I know, but right now you’re the closest thing to him. You are him, I think, in a way.” Lance’s voice was steady. “And if you’re really just like him, then you need this as bad as he did, so shut up and take it.”

Shiro didn’t know what to say, but he felt the need to do something, so he stretched out his arm and let Lance curl up on his side, then hug him and lay his head on Shiro’s shoulder. “It’s so unfair,” Lance mumbled.

“What’s unfair?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“You’re ridiculously comfortable and-” Lance got up abruptly, something shiny in his eyes. Shiro stared at him with confusion. The more he stayed still, the more his head stopped spinning. He was about to ask what was going on, when Lance let out an excited sound. “Hear me out. Tomorrow we’ll go save the other Shiro. That makes two Shiros. Which means I can sleep with double ridiculous human-cushions.”

Shiro wasn’t sure whether he should jealous or relieved by how fast Lance accepted the existence of two different Shiro in his life. But then, it really was like Lance. Shiro shouldn’t be surprised. “Aye aye Cap’n,” he snorted.

“That’s a perfect plan, excuse you. I only come up with perfect plans,” Lance said, going back to Shiro’s shoulder and laying down.

“Of course,” Shiro said still chuckling.

“Original Shiro will have some nasty competition,” Lance mumbled after a bit.

Shiro smiled. “Why’s that?”

Lance pushed himself up and looked Shiro in the eye.  “You look so fucking hot with the beard and the long hair,” he said. Then, Lance’s eyes grew wide. “This is so unfair! I spend  _ hours _ getting this pretty face ready and you just. . .You can just go hobo and you’re still sexy! What’s your secret?”

Shiro found the strength to laugh. His head was light, but his body was so heavy. Lance made it look simple, gave him the idea it could be, if he only let go long enough. “I’ll tell you when you grow up.”

“Aw man,” Lance whined and rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, I’m really tired,” Shiro urged and Lance went back lying on his side, now completely turned towards Shiro’s face and body. It was warm and safe, something Shiro hadn’t allowed himself to feel in a long time. It almost felt forever.

Despite Shiro’s beliefs, falling asleep took just a few moments. It almost felt like slipping into water. A moment he was smiling and holding Lance between his arms, the second later he was deep in a timeless darkness. Lance’s body was warm and reassuring, that if he ever woke up he would’ve found the young man instead of cold metal and cold, violet lights. He slept, better than he’s ever remembered, but still with moments of turmoil. And it felt like Lance never left his side, not even when they announced, the day after, what they had discovered during the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <333
> 
> Comments always help a lot, I don't know if I'll continue the thing - it depends on adulting & stuff, as always.
> 
> Over and out,  
> Ish


End file.
